Never be too proud

I think one of our biggest issues in life is that we're afraid to laugh at ourself or too proud to admit we're wrong. People try to keep this image of themselves being masters in life. Many books have been written about life but since every life is a custom experience most is done on the fly through gut instincts. There should be no worries about screwing up a decision or admitting you didnt know something. But with the highly critical environment we live in people are afraid to admit they're wrong about stuff because of the criticism they will receive. So here I am doing what I feel I'm not too afraid of and that's being critical of myself, laughing at myself, and admitting I was wrong. Look, I won't pretend I was raised in an environment that was stable. I try not to dwell on it or use it as an excuse to fail. I try to use it as a reason to not ever want to experience those situations ever again. I definitely don't want my kids to ever have to experience things I've had too. Just a quick background but I was raised my mother until 4th grade. We lived with my grandmother along with my mother until 1st grade in Hacienda Heights and then we moved to San Bernardino with my mother and a guy named Paul. At the time I thought it was normal for the most part. My mother used to grow marijuana and sell it to the dealers at the local public pool. She would go through dropping off bags and then drop us off at the pool called the Center. She grew it in the back yard and I never thought anything of it. Then in April of 4th grade I went to spend the night at a friends house and my mother never came to pick me up. Finally an aunt came and picked me up but she couldnt handle me and my sister so we went to live with her and my mother's brother Dennis. He was married to a woman named Shirley who had 2 kids or her own. I can't express how thankful I am for them taking us in. We were very close to going to Orangewood and living in foster care. So at least we got to live with family. It was strict which was completely the opposite of where I was up to that point. In 4th grade I had my own little gang and had already beat a kid up for his Michael jackson jacket and started a fight with a 7th grader just to prove I was tough. Although I resented everyone for the strict environment I would not be where I am today without it and even though Dennis died 3 years ago not a day goes by that I don't thank the universe for blessing me with his presence. He truly was a selfless person and I really believe he raised me with values. But never the less I still had some residual issues from experiences and an anger problem as well. But that's a different story what I'm trying to share is why we should all stay humble and peaceful. When I was 18 I was in Hawaii for the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. I was in the Navy and was young, dumb, and full of,,,well you know. A friend had loaned me his driver license so I was out on the town drinking and having a wild time. As we walked past this group of young girls this guy I was with Nick asked these ladies what time it was and then their age. When two of them were under 18 they said nevermind. I was like screw that I just got off a boat i want to hang out with chicks. So I introduced myself. Well to make a long story short I married one of the girls. Of course it was the one that was over 18. Well about 18 years later here we are. I've been married and divorced and remarried to the same woman. I don't recommend it. When we got divorced it was my fault. I was young and not ready to get married and ended up cheating with several women. I also don't recommend cheating. Just leave if it's not working. We were separated for a while and then by chance ended up back together. Well it seemed all new and different the second time but soon she was bringing up old shit. So here we are about to get divorced again. I don't know if you've been divorced but it fucking hurts. i drank too much during the divorce and cried alot. I felt like a failure and I couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, couldnt focus on work. Kept my job but barely. But you know what oh well shit happens. Some day I'll look back and learn from this. But the point is don't be too proud to admit you were wrong and fix it. I still have a lot to fix in myself but I'm starting to be smarter about women. By smart I mean I will just avoid love all together and be alone.I'll watch my kids grow and support them but I'm not going to try and get married again. Doing something over and over again expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I just want to be content and call it a day. For what it's worth maybe this will help someone. One Love!

Does anyone really believe we'll fix this?

I talk to people on a daily basis and they've all given up on our government. Not all people just the ones's that I'm about to refer too. There are those people like me that still believe we have a chance to fix this. So I'll break this down to 3 different segments of people. You might not agree with this list and if not that's fine too. The first group is that group that no matter what votes Republican no matter who the candidate is. These people believe that the Republican party wants to help them maintain the conservative morales and values America was founded on. They will blindly vote for whoever the candidate is based on party affiliation. They bash the democratic candidate just because of the party affiliation. They'll classify everyone that does not agree with them as liberal democrats that support Socialism. They continue to put their hopes in a Republican candidate believeing that this candidate will be the one that brings the glory back to the Republican party. Then there is the same type of person but on the democratic side. They believe that the Republican party has lost touch with society and doesnt understand the needs of the American citizen. They'll vote for a Democrat even if that candidate has not earned the right to represent the American people. Personally, I believe both of these groups of people continue to keep their head in the sand and are not seeing the true problem here. Here is the 3rd group. These people wait to see who the candidate is and they look at his background and try to look within the candidate to see if he truly represents America.They don't care what party the candidate is from they want to see change. They want to see someone who does the right thing no matter what loyalties he has to people that may have financed his campaign. He'll do what's best to fix the problems that plague us today. I no longer believe it's possible with our current government. The reason is that once there is a foundation of corruption it's almost impossible to change it. Our government has been corrupt for a long time and if you don't believe it you probably fit into one of the 2 groups I listed above. Every time some individual tries to change things he ends up dead. I'm not trying to say there are conspiracies and that our government is behind it. This is what I'm trying to say. The government no longer believes that we as citizens know what we want or should have a voice. They believe that they know what's best for us and what they should do to make it happen. This is obvious with the way the government bailed out the banks and car companies even though the American people did not agree. They didnt put it to a vote for the citizens. They took it upon themselves to decide for us what we wanted. That led to a bunch of executives who ran their companies inaffectively to receive huge bonuses and payouts even though their companies didnt perform. All the government did by bailing these companies out was delay the inevitable. Now the government lost billions of dollars of tax payers money just to extend the life of a failing company. But they didnt help the taxpayers bail these companies out, they excluded themselves from being part of it just like they did with Obamacare, Social Security, and any other program they push for us but believe they're too good to follow themselves. Here is another example. Anyone that has looked at the evidence of the John F. Kennedy assassination sees obvious evidence that their is a high likelihood that Kennedy was shot by two different guns from two different directions. But the government felt obligated to keep the facts away from us possibly to protect us? LBJ assembled the Warren Commission of guys he knew he could trust. There is a recorded conversation where LBJ can be heard making the statement that he wants to avoid the situation getting out of hand. Adamantly saying that it is imperitive that they conclude that the assassination was committed by a lone gunman Oswald. So when the findings came out that the evidence pointed at Oswald being a lone gunman people that had looked at the evidence instantly thought conspiracy. How could they not? Anyone that watched the video and knows guns sees that it is obvious that Kennedy was shot once in the neck from the side and a second time through his forehead exiting the back of his head. Even if the government was not behind the assassination they made themselves look guilty by forcing the Warren Commission to conclude there was one gunman. The problem is that they fed these false findings to the American people as fact. I digress but here is my point. The government should be transparent. They should carry out business and everyone should look and see that the government is making decisions that are best for our country. When was the last time you could actually feel this was happening? We're deep in debt yet we are continuing to take on more at a rapid pace. Our country is at the age where previous governments have failed. It happened to Rome because they felt they were too big to fail and stopped listening to their people. Now our National Debt is 17 trillion dollars + and growing. But instead of focusing on this and resolving it our government has implemented a healthcare bill that will cost us even more. We continue to give money to countries that harbor terrorists as well as countries that use the money to build weapons instead of feeding their people. Sometimes things get so big that they fail and that is where our government is. Our government pays more attention to Gay marriage, abortion, and baseball players doing steroids than it does taking the debt seriously. Just wait until the reserve changes the monetary system away from the US Dollar. Then we'll see things change.

Roast some smores (poetry)

I'll be present till Santa comes down the chimney. I discover points of tension And then provide stress relief. I'm a troubleshooter of some sorts sometimes I mop up wet floors, provide mag locks to highly sensitive doors. Then I go roast some s'mores. I love hearing my kids say "daddy can I have some more. I design solutions that help you unwind. You can't rewind time so you better go buy my system while you still have time. Infinite security is what I'm trying to propose. Don't leave your assets exposed. Don't you ever trust no hoes. I keep my hoes in the garden. I beg your pardon. I'll never get arrested so I'll never have to ask for a pardon. I walk through life never no reason to tip toe. But no problems I be starting. Why is it that all the crazy chicks that want to fuck my bros are the chicks that i adore and propose. Why did i trust em? I've won the game bitch cause you can't trust them hoes.

Dink and I dunk

All ya gotta do is put alcohol in front of a drunk. I want to get krunked. Gfunk till I die cause everything else I flunked. Mostly I got punked. I believe it's because I worked with too many punks. Stank like some skunks. Why do people try to take advantage of others to quench their desires, eventually theyre fucked! When you speak to me say sire. I'm retired, free to do what I when I want. I treated this life like a slam dunk. Like rich Gannon I dink and dunk. Passin all y'all in one of my inventions. Im always pumped, dont get pimped. Always think, never just jump. To belittle you would not be one of my intentions. O course I be big pimpin. Look at my junk, i mean i got some junk no a trunk with some junk. But that's how it's always been. It's just that today more problems i be solvin. Most of the time these problems are solved by this thing I'm twisting. You'll never outsmart me what the fuck were you thinking? I'm the HNIC in this twisted environment you see, the constant instability. the inability to be constant Is my specialty. I'm almost immune to everything you got. Or have ever seen. I had to one up charlie sheen. There were too many men so i added two and a half times more women. was big ballin when you were not. Life has always been a constant struggle once again for alot it was not. Some have lakes others have puddles. don't know what I'm trying to say where's my silly smokes, no need for long meetings just some quick huddles. my rum and coke my ice is melting. Where's my luggage another couple meetings I gotta juggle. Where are the trees in this concrete jungle. I can't have them for free a few palms I'm gonna smuggle.

Say no to Racism

It's my belief that if you don't stand for anything you might as well not exist at all. I try to have some integrity so I need to practice what I preach. Like a lot of others started this life from humble beginnings. I could be accused of a lot of things but one belief I've always had even if it was not common around me was unity. I have never judged a man by the color of his skin but instead I look at the content of a man's character. A courageous man once said that and was murdered for that belief. I don't care what color you are I only ask that you treat me the way I treat you and that you're in this journey called life to help our kind achieve peace and unity. I've already lost some of you and if I have that's fine ignore this and go read some other post about things that don't really have any significance in reality. If you disagree with me that's fine too. BUT, if you are racist and look at people of different color as lower than you please delete me from your life all together. I don't wish to associate with anyone at all that has hate in their heart. I am outspoken and I always have been and probably always will be. But I stand for something and that is love. I love so many people and so many people love me that I don't need people that hate. I have many family and friends who are gay, straight, every color, and while I might not share these traits and I might not agree with everything they do it is not my job to judge. I can have an opinion just like anyone else but the moment I condemn them I have lost focus of why I am here. I live in Orange County, CA and there is so much racism here it's sickening. I hear the jokes and comments all the time and I've grown tired of debating with these people but I will continue to do it till I'm dead! Like I said feel free to delete me from your life I embrace that.

Tear em up

Things are getting crazy people are too excited. I hope the madness has subsided. I'm slowly thinking of the past and in the future me and everything else have collided. From the best I am not a part of. From the nucleus i am divided. A cataclysmic,oc activity I have collided. The hydrogen collider is spinning. Leaving while I'm ahead is tempting. Your girl And a drink and a beer double fisting. What good does it do to wish on the past, better to be the future to put all your energy rotting!

Cold World

Ill never forget her so I had to leave her. Fuck that ill never let a woman know I need her. I'm too damaged for all of that I'm taking a vacation distant living in Belize. I miss the Cali green the palm trees. I'm tired of listening to these. Why do I make myself feel like I'm not ready to take on this belief. I know the pressure and the burden is about to be mine. If I turn my back and change my mind I won't only be the problem continue to be inadequate and all the rest will have to play the victims. And wait for someone else to realize its could be their time. I only got one wish when I leave I hope it's an abyss. I don't know if I can handle hearing about how I mishandled didn't understand simple bits, it's all data. My seismic gaffe could affect the planet. Live your life I don't care how you spend it. When I come to play I come to win it but I don't want to be the only one enjoying the spoils. Whatever the game whether it be poker and I'm Doyle playing with Hoyle. Or Milton bradly and I'm the man on the horse buying up all the property, I barely realized I've got enough to buy Baltic. I'm a simple man from the gutter. I don't need boardwalk I'd rather trade it for 4 railroads, I need a way to transport and I never liked New York.