The positive side of going through a tough time in your life is that you learn who is there for you when your at your best and who is there for you always. I've never been a great husband. I don't know if it's because I grew up in broken homes, whether I'm insecure, or if I'm just a crappy husband. I do know that no matter how much of a douche I've been my wife has always been there. Even when she found I cheated on her with our neighbor she still had my back. I have a couple of friends that are the same way and of course my kids always have my back. I don't mean to be a douche in my relationship I'm just a sucker for a woman. That I know is from my childhood. Being introduced to sex at such a young age has me craving it. It's like an addiction. Some people are addicted to alcohol while I'm addicted to naked women. Is that just totally sick? Probably, but I'm just being honest. In this day and age of so much political correctness we as people are sometimes afraid to be mortal and weak. I constantly work to suppress those desires and focus on things that are constructive instead.
What I do know is that I am weak right now I will ultimately be strong again. I'm very resilient and I also strive to become a better person. As I was laying in bed with the wife watching netflix I find that I'm not a cuddler. But instead of fighting it I just try to enjoy what she enjoys. Although I'd rather be out doing something like the beach, fishing, camping, hiking, instead I watched Netflix with the wife. I even baked cookies! I feel like a little bitch sometimes being so damn domesticated. I feel like my alter ego would be a dj at a strip club. "Can i get a warm round of applause for the next dancer coming to the stage, bambi". I mean who really cares right? What the fuck are we doing here anyways. Our society in the US is a complete mess. Half the people hate the President and want him to be impeached because he tweeted inappropriately while the other half just didn't want Hillary Clinton to be President. Why is it a crime to admit I'm a degenerate and that I like to look at and hang out with naked women? I know I know, your a perv danny.
Anyways, back to reality. I do know that I don't give up and I strive to be a better person. When will I learn who is there for my best interests and? Well, who are just there because I'm naturally a giving person. Now that I don't have as much to give the phone calls are less and the friends fewer.
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