One Month Without Alcohol

So after writing about how alcoholism is not a disease (in my opinion) I had to test myself. I want to go until my birthday (September) without any drinking. The longest I've gone after becoming an adult without drinking is about 4 months. I've realized that alcohol is a big part of my life. So now that it's February 1st and I've gone since December 31st without drinking it's time to evaluate.

What I've found after not drinking for a month is that:

First, I've found that it's a bigger deal to others that I'm not drinking than it is to me. Several times I've been handed a beer or a shot assuming that I wanted one. This is not the other person's fault but mine. Over time I've shown my willingness to be down to drink so I can't be frustrated when it's offered to me. I also don't want it to be a big deal that I'm not drinking. I want to be involved in day to day life like I would be normally without having to avoid situations where I might be tested. If I'm not going to drink I don't want it to be a big deal or to be a pain in the ass to people.

The first time I was tempted was last week during a going away party at a Tap House near my house. Everyone was drinking beers and taking shots. I had a Mountain Dew and have to admit I felt the urge to do a shot but avoided it. The next time was at a friends house during the AFC/NFC NFL championships. They have every kind of liquor imaginable. Cocktails were flowing as well as beers. This was the first time people really noticed I was not drinking. They didn't make a big deal of it just offered me juices and water. It went smoothly and I had fun with a lot of good food.

I've noticed that although I don't want it to be a big deal I've stayed aware of how many days it's been since I last drank. For someone who does not want it to be a big deal I've noticed that it is a big deal to myself. I was caught off guard by this and I'm working to ignore how long it's been. My reason for doing this isn't simply just as an experiment but also to lose weight. Drinking has assisted in me not having the energy or drive to exercise consistently. I also hate that groggy feeling when I wake up. Drinking might be fun while you're doing it but everything else about it hurts.

I've noticed some positives since I quit. The first is how much more energy I have. I have a spring in my step and I get up easier. The other noticeable change is how my focus stays constant. This in my opinion is the biggest issue with drinking. If I'm celebrating and drinking it's because something awesome happened. But if it's awesome I should want that feeling to last as long as possible. But when I'm finished drinking the excitement away the feeling is gone. When I wake up I don't have that same energy, I'm starting over. Now, I have the same energy consistently every day. That might not always be a good thing though. Right now I'm interviewing for a new job. I find myself wondering what's going to happen. Sometimes it's hard to turn the brain off and I just keep thinking. I find myself wanting to drink just to dull those thoughts a little bit.

Now to the downside. Outside of some friends wanting to know every detail of why I'm not drinking I've only noticed two other issues. The first I mentioned above with my brain never turning off. The other is sugar. For the first week I expected to need some sugar or something to help me not want to drink. But a month into it I notice that I have more of a sweet tooth than usual. The last thing I want is to start a new habit to get rid of another one. So now that it's February 1st I plan to no longer allow myself any crutches. What good is it to quit if I start a new addiction that also won't help me to achieve my physical goals.

Anyways, it has been an interesting month. I'm determined not to give up, but I also don't want it to be a big deal. I don't want to be that guy that has to make a big deal of the situation every time people see me. I don't know if I've lost any weight but I do know I have a lot of love and respect for anyone that makes big changes in their life. Keep up the good work!