My brother

In 2011 I had this company I started for security systems. I felt that I had enough experience in the industry to be successful. Since my brother is also a technical guy I asked if he wanted to run it with me. Since he had just lost his job we created a new corporation and put it in his name since I was still employed full time. The thought was to keep my name off of things until I could resign my position and also do it full time. But until then we would pay him through the company. What happened was that I ended up not being a part of the company even though I had brought every customer we had and potential ones. This severed our relationship.




Fast forward to January 2016. I spoke to my brother for the first time in almost 5 years. What I've learned since then is always separate business and personal. I was extremely upset while this was all happening and reacted emotionally. What I realized was that losing my brother because of money or similar sucked. I missed my only brother and although it took me a while to get over it I am completely over it. When I say over it I have no anger or bad feelings because of what happened. When I forgive it's more for my own peace of mind than the other person. Once I'm able to let it go I don't believe in reliving it. That means I have to be able to discuss it without any emotions or anger being involved. I believe that until I can do that I am not in reality ready to forgive or move on. That's why I'm always surprised when people immediately say that they forgive someone. I think they say that but they can't possibly already feel that. An example is a woman who's daughter was murdered. Shortly after the murder the mother came out and forgave the murderer. I remember wondering how she could possibly forgive so quickly.




Karma I believe finds us all and we all get ours in the end. My brother was no exception and now I hope I haven't done anything further to cause Karma to find me again. My brother Michael is having some troubles. His wife is divorcing him and he's living in a friends RV. He also lost his job. My brother is a very talented guy with many skills but he's struggling right now. I'm not saying I can help him but I can let him know that I'm on his side and love him. Just in case he didn't know that already. The fact is that I don't want to see my brother suffer. I want to see him succeed. I even said that right after even though I was still pissed off. I don't hate the player and I feel guilty for anything I ever said to him that was negative. I hope he finds peace and happiness and that he turns into a person that his wife will look back and regret leaving. Because to me that's the only way to approach a separation. Take it as motivation to become the best person you possibly can so that when people are around you they can't help but be drawn to you.




I did learn that you never mix business and family. I should have never entangled the two when I did. It caused me to lose over 4 years with my brother and the frustration of losing a business. I am happy to have my brother back and it's another case of how I learn something new every day. I'm a flawed individual but I'm trying my best to not make the same mistake twice. I hate making mistakes and I'm very hard on myself when I do. But I love more than anything and I feel blessed every day just to get another chance. I wish I had all the answers and the ability to help people. But like they tell you on an airplane. You can't help others or put their oxygen masks on until you take care of yourself first.




I have one weakness that is bigger than all of the rest. I've been trying so hard to block it and not give into the temptation. It sometimes controls me physically and so I avoid situations where I might give into it. It's not a drug or alcohol but in my mind and body the satisfaction of it feels like a drug. So although not a disease it exists inside of me and I have to work to control it. But like anything in life we have choices and I'm choosing to refrain from it's grasp and focus more on being a positive role model for others. I just want to be thankful for what I have because it's already more than I could have ever hoped for.