Thursday morning November 12th will be my youngest son's 16th birthday. So in less than two days I have only two years left with kids under 18. I didn't say I think of things the way everyone else does. It's been a long process raising kids. I try to embrace it but it's sometimes hard with everything that comes with that joy. With joy comes sacrifice. Then cause I'm totally adhd i had to write my mom this message. All truth in this so might be a bit much for some. I can be a bit intense and confusing.
Hope you're having a pleasant night. Cheersing to you each night. That's kind of part of my prayers. Just looking up and asking the powers that be to be there watching and helping. I try not to ask often but for you I will ask. I hope they'll listen because I try not to cry wolf and reserve my requests for what matters. Just wanted you to know that you matter. I love you and appreciate you for everything you did for and to us. I can't appreciate the good without knowing and embracing the bad. Cause all of it are ingredients to success. I needed my ass kicked, there is no way around it. I'm surprised I turned out well so I can't question the process and the way it happened, I can only appreciate it. My point is that you're a chef of life. Kitchen might not always be friendly, but damn it the customers are happy. Except we were the employees and customers in one, we just didn't realize it. Thank you for seeing the big picture and handling it. I will never be able to thank you, but know you're appreciated.
Oh, could you also send my love to Michelle. Something has been telling me to let her know I love her and see her and to be easier on herself.
Love you all so much
...back to this,
My son turns 16 on Thursday and I can't even believe I'm here. He's only 16 but sees things I never did. He has his issues and doesn't know what he doesn't know but is so ahead of the curve with what he does know. I am so impressed by his ability to be himself because I was never able to. He is in the drama club and acts fearlessly in plays. I was the lead in a play in 6th grade and wouldn't hold a girl's hand for a scene. He took his shirt off and owned it. He spends hours writing for competitions and studying for his upcoming parts. He's passionate about being who you are. He has so many friends that he was elected home coming prince. His outlook is refreshing and I know I was an ingredient but I would be foolish and naïve to think I was the reason. Seriously, I'm just happy and feel lucky that in spite of what I am he's reaching another level. That part is partially my fault. I preach even though I don't have the credentials to be yourself and do what your passionate about. But also you need to be good at it. My oldest son Alex is good at math so why not incorporate that into his passion. Listening to Hank Williams Jr. and hear someone say they don't like it. I will say his dad was one of the biggest contributors to music but still love Jr. My point is just because I love rap doesn't mean I can't also love country. Why not?
I'm going to end this because I've already alienated myself from just about everyone. A rap loving country boy only exists in my perverted version of life. As I end this Willie Nelson "don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys" plays on Pandora. This song is in my DNA. Nevermind, it'll take too long to explain.
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