It's 8:28am November 5th, 2015. I just got off the phone with my mom and it was bad news. I know what some are thinking, I thought your mom died? My mother died yes but my mom is still alive. You see, back in 4th grade in the 1985 my brother Michael, my sister Michelle, and myself all lived with my mother and her boyfriend Paul. At the time we lived in San Bernardino on Porter street. We lived at 1942 Porter street for a few years and I'll have to tell a story about when a helicopter landed in our backyard and one of my mom's boyfriend's friends was dragged out of our backyard by the cops. They beat the crap out of him and he was bleeding when they slammed him into the back of the car. But anyways, we moved down the street to 1975 Porter street and that's where our lives changed forever. When we lived at 1942 Porter we went to California elementary school but when we moved down the street we started going to Muscoy elementary school. Well, I was spending the night at a friends house and my mom never came to pick me up. After a few weeks my friend's mom asked if I had other family I could call. Luckily I remembered my grandma's phone number. A few days later my aunt Debbie came to pick me up and we went to live with them. I can't remember where that was at but it didn't last long. My aunt Debbie and her husband Ken used to party a lot and they couldn't take care of my sister and I. My brother Michael had already gone to live with my grandma because my mom's boyfriend had hit him in the mouth with a beer bottle and broke his tooth. He didn't hit him on purpose, he just missed hitting my mom with it when she ducked and it hit my brother. My aunt Debbie who is my mother Lenora's sister called her brother Dennis to come and pick us up. Dennis' wife is Shirley and that's my mom. She wasn't always my mom which I'll explain but here it is 30 years later and after just speaking with her I appreciate her and love her a lot. Anyways, I remember the day Dennis, Shirley, and Shirely's kids Tina and Joe came to pick my sister and I up. They drove this brown and white station wagon that had seats in the very back that faced the opposite direction. So you actually looked at the people behind you when you were driving. I remember that April day like it was yesterday. As we drove away from my aunt Debbie's house I wondered what was in store for us. What would our lives be like.
At the time Dennis and Shirley lived in Whittier in an apartment. We used to play with the Tina and Joe and other kids in the complex. We'd climb and run on the roofs and around the entire complex. It was a lot of fun. But my favorite was watching movies. They had this beta player which is like a VHS but smaller. Think HDDVD and Blue Ray. Blue Ray won and no more HDDVD. Same thing happened back in the 80s with Beta. But they had many Beta movies and up until then I hadn't even seen a vcr. We would watch movies that up until then I hadn't even heard of like Commando, Rambo, Goonies, Breakfast Club, and Karate Kid. They didn't put us in school the rest of that year after moving so we just hung out at the apartment. At first everything was perfect. We ate good and watched movies and had fun with all the local kids. My sister Michelle had to spend a lot of time studying with my aunt/mom Shirley because she was behind and wouldn't get to go to the next grade without learning to read better and math. Shirley spend countless hours helping. Shortly after moving in with them we moved to Pomona where we lived in a house off of Garey avenue and Arrow highway at I think 2233 Las Vegas avenue. Our house was the only one whose garage opened to Garey avenue. It actually opened to a car wash and behind that was a McDonalds, Taco Bell, New York Pizza, Stater Bros. I just looked at Google maps and the New York pizza place is now a Juan Pollo and the Stater Bros. is now a Dollar General Market. Funny thing is my cousin Joe and I got caught stealing candy bars from the Stater Bros. when I was in 5th grade. Very embarrassing. I started 5th grade at San Jose elementary school and I was a kid with issues. But that's a different story. I want to focus on my mom. For many years after we went to live with Dennis and Shirley I was an angry kid. In 5th grade I had a teacher Mrs. Barbee. She gave me detention for talking in class and I lost it. I threw a chair at her and they called my parents. Dennis and Shirley came to the school and Dennis beat my butt with the principal's paddle and then made me go to the class and apologize. This was a whole new world to me. I mean my mom's boyfriend Paul used to beat us but this was different. Life was not always easy. There were plenty of times when we would go to the LA fairgrounds and watch the races or go on rides or go to pizza. But there were plenty others when life was not easy. Rules were strict. Before we could go out and play on Saturdays we had to make sure our laundry was done, beds made, and our clothes were in the right drawer. I resented Shirley for a long time. I blamed her for my mom not coming back and I didn't like the rules. I went to 5th and 6th grade at San Jose and then part of 7th grade at Palomares Junior High schoool before we moved to Phelan.
It wasn't until years later that I realized how much Dennis and Shirley actually did for us. Shirley was relentless. There was no let up. And she always caught us whenever we tried to get away with anything. I don't remember ever getting away with anything. We used to go to the First Assembly of God church on Arrow highway Wednesday's and Sunday's and I remember that is when they were proud of me. When I started getting noticed for the work I was doing at church they would show me love. So I reached out that way because it felt good. But I remember sitting in church not understanding how people were speaking in Tongues. I remember thinking how come God is speaking through all of these people but not me? But I look back and the lessons that they taught me were huge. Dennis was my uncle being my mother's brother but Shirley didn't have to do any of this. She had her two kids and now she was taking in 3 more kids that each had deep rooted issues. My brother was white, I'm half Mexican, and my sister is half black. I can't imagine what people thought when they looked at our family. I also don't know how they made it work. 5 kids to eat clothe and support must have been such a burden. I look back at my dad Dennis and I remember how selfless he was. He never had new shoes and hardly ever bought himself anything. He just got up everyday and went to work but as a kid I didn't appreciate that. But it wasn't until way later in life where I actually realized what Shirley(my mom) had done for me. The skills, discipline, respect, and appreciation she taught me were huge. I would not be anywhere close to where I am today without her. I might not be the most successful person but I've achieved more than I ever thought was possible. My 3 kids are healthy and mature because I was able to take what she taught me and apply it.
The reason I'm writing this is because she called me this morning and told me she has cancer again. She just finished fighting breast cancer and had to have one of her breasts removed. While she was going through it she was still taking care of kids and doing the things that you would only believe if you witnessed it. She's in her 60s now and she still takes care of 2 of my sister's kids, my other sister Tina's son, and her brother Joe's son. She doesn't know how to quit or stop helping. She raised another one of our cousins and then raised 3 other cousins. The selflessness was flowing in our household just between Shirley and Dennis. They hardly ever left on their own it was all about family. So she calls me this morning and tells me that she has lung cancer. Now, she never smoked when we were kids. She didn't start until my dad Dennis died a few years ago. After that she started to smoke because she was both stressed and depressed. He was everything in her world. I mean they had their issues and faught here and there but they loved each other completely. She also said that it's spread to part of her heart. So now after losing my mother last month my mom is now fighting for her life. In typical Shirley fashion she's going to fight it. The first doctor she talked to wouldn't do the surgery so she's looking for another. Since it's moved to her heart it'll be hard to do chemo so they have to operate and take the tumor out. It's very risky because of where it's at. I'm so very sad right now. For years I wanted both her and Dennis to move back out to CA from Oklahoma and retire. But they felt their work was not done. It still amazed me though how positive she sounded this morning. We still talked about other things but I know she's scared. I love her a lot and if anyone can beat it she will. I'll stay positive and hope for the best. But I will be talking to her a lot because she's the last parent I have.
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