If I had the nerve

I almost posted the following on Facebook,,,,but I'm turning into a big coward these days. I keep seeing myself back away from society more and more every day. Just seems like madness these days. Am I wrong?

Im gonna rant real quick. Ignore if you'd like. I dont really care either way, well maybe I do. Anyways, life gets a little tiresome at times. Besides having to deal with new religion, new parents, and new money. I have to deal with people that have higher expectations of others than they do themselves. When did perception and being politically correct become reality? Have you met politicians, what you perceive does not mean fact. I want nothing to do with fake, plastic, or two faced. Anyone that knows me will account that what you see is what you get. Sorry to disapoint you. I can only be real. Im a pain in the ass sometimes and once in a while I'm worth it. Good news is you can move on and it does not even matter. If you dont agree with this just delete me I dont have a 100 and something friends in real life anyways. But most people will pretend their life is as happy as they portray it on Facebook. No doubt some of your lives are, I'll testify! All i really want to know is that this is not FakeBook.

Dependencies

Ok ok, listen to this please. I dont give a fuck about where or what damn city. There is not a lot of hope in any of these communities. I need to make a plea. Lets get up out of this mess, seriously. I aint got no subsidies and pretty soon no dependents G. Dont even have to ask cause i never get caught up in any chemical dependencies. There aint an agency out there not one! Im the original, been in since day one. You dont have to tell me about the streets cause ive slept on every single one. Go ahead and do your homework son, youll find out the credibility, the amount of time for eligibility. The paperworks all there. The parties arent all there and i think were missing a few teeth. But aint nothing dirty cause since i didnt use them as a child still dont have no bed sheets after i pass out from my last glass of hennessey

Good to see you all im glad your all here. Im about to get into something kind of like that gerbel did richard geres rear. My fear is insatiable. My blood pressure is high. Somethings about to explode. My mind is in auto pilot mode. Im either gonna get it done or die. I cant go one more day in this job, its just not gonna happen. Whether its rappin or disapear and go rafting. I cant live in this arrangement with society that ive been trapped in.There aint nothing wrong with it in particular except that from my desk i cant get in i can only see the ocean. I might as well be chained to a box! Do some more reports, whats the status of adam, tom and the rest of your direct reports. I know your all cohorts, hanging out in every port. Im smoking every night just tryin to cope.

Never be Capone (rough)

I'm by myself completely alone, on my own. The crisp air, puffing on a padron no despair, sipping patron, I'm in a zone. Never be al Capone, no worries Would never trade short term pleasure for long term pain.Life is already hell so why lock myself into a cell. Already too attached to my cell phone. Can't escape it all, need no want a second home. But you'll find me just like every other yuppie in Starbucks hot coffee what the fucks a scone? Obamas ordering drones? I'm not even paying attention. Almost drove through a obstruction ticketed for speeding in a construction zone. I'm half a poet and more like a depressing poem about the dos and donts about battling hoes. Buts that's just how it goes. Nobody knows, lying is only beneficial when the radius divided by the circumference of the size of your goals. Now your like ahh shit he knows. Let me take a second now he'll be bringing this for real but its always a game like the ones from nintendo or hasbro. I could be an asshole, but if I don't tell it like a story I'm too afraid about whoever tells you will be taking all the glory won't be telling it gently. And might even exaggerate the story you know how legends grow.

Tip your Waiter

Tip your cup tip your waiter, slap her butt, cant ignore her i aint no hater! I dont need no gators, i dont even own a gun. I dont give a fuck. What the fuck does it matter. Life is more like splatter, nothing fucking matters. Its over so fast tske a moment to tell all your loved ones they matter. For their sake i wish my wallet was fatter. For my wife that my belly was flatter. Its amazing that when your in need so called friends scatter. Got me pulling out my hair crazy faces like im the madd hatter. At any moment i can collapse like hank gathers. Might as well live it up like marshall mathers. Do dont interupt me while im speaking. Im ready to pull the trigger laying next to abraham lincoln, both are heads leaking. As soon as the ink hit the pad it was out my head and im glad. Cause if i dont corrext my actions now there might be short term happiness but the endings gonna be sad.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NniUop8gSVM













To all the people that live or lived lives that we should abide im toastin. But to those who live to capitalize i hope you die of your greatest gift, poaching. My tipping point im approaching. We'll regret the day that it ended. Thinking we still had a voice even though we didnt. Even when we had a vote. Some choose to tote gats, others choose to act as if nothing happened. Continue to live this dream. But what has been a fantasy for a few has been hell for entire nations. Their hating us hoping. More of our buildings are collapsing. Nobody wants us to survive and definitely not thrive. Part of me died when half of my favorite people died. Why dont we just rock this bitch until another entity we collide. Live it up till avalanches decide to slide. I dont mean to sound so negative. Im living above adequate never compare my existence to the days when our nation was losing tribeS. Been fortunate compared to what these books describe. But its not all hype. Weve got an urgent condition. But how are we gonna coordinate positions if we spend our time trippin.

How do you rehabilitate a murderer?

Below are links to two stories where either one or both parents murdered their child. These events happened within a short time of each other. This type of behavior is common in the animal kingdom but should not be with highly evolved mammals like humans. I will never know what goes through a person's head when they commit acts like these. I once left my 2 year old in the car when I went inside to get take out for dinner. I was in there for 15 minutes and when I came out and realized I forgot my son I started sobbing like a baby and now 14 years later I still have not forgiven myself. I could have easily lost track of time and come out too late. I might as well have died myself if that would have happened because I would not have been able to live with myself. Luckily, it was not for that long and my son was safe although a little sweaty. He's now 16 has a 4.0 grade point average and plays high school basketball. But even as I write this I'm still disappointed in myself or that momentary lapse of thinking. In one of these stories below the mother and her live in boyfriend kill the woman's daughter. They then pack up there things and try to disappear only to be found at the train station. There was evidence of sexual assault and blunt force trauma. What kind of animal(s) can do this to a 3 year old? If you can do this to a 3 year old do you deserve to live any longer? I don't think so. How do we expect to ever evolve as a society if we leave people like this to procreate or share their ideas with others? In the other story the mother and father are arrested after the police suspect that the 5 year old was beaten and later died because of the injuries. The child woke up and complained about his eyes hurting but was told to go back to bed. In our society the people that either can't afford children or should not have children end up having the most children. While the people that can afford children or are mature enough to have children have less children. This statistic is disturbing. This is because people that can afford children only have on average 2 children. They feel that they need to give each child attention and be able to afford college for these children. On the other side of the spectrum they're having children for money. They get government assistance and they see each additional child as a revenue source. They have one child and then see how much more money they get for an additional one and it's too tempting to avoid. Instead of using government assistance for what it's intended for they use it as their crutch. It was intended to assist you through tough times not to live off of long term. Now those people have 3+ children and they can't afford them because the government assistance was meant only as a safety measure and so the kids end up insecure because they cannot afford to have the items that more fortunate children have. The parents also do not have the time to give each of these additional children the same amount of attention. All around the situation screams of insanity yet the cycle continues generation after generation. The problem long term is that individuals like the people in the articles below will be allowed to server a sentence that often is not severe enough for the crime. A child lost their life and the murderer will be allowed to re-enter society after serving a sentence. But what sentence fits the crime? How can you let a person out of prison if they murdered a child? That child never gets to breathe again yet we let the people that murder them back out into society for a retry? How is that right? The argument against capital punishment is that they get rehabilitated in prison before they re-enter society. Anyone who attempts to make this argument obviously has not been in prison or even researched the conditions in prison. Prison is a place where people do not become rehabilitated. They become conditioned to survive in an environment that is not conducive with rehabilitation. Guards often get satisfaction by placing new inmates with other inmates that they know will either sexually violate them or severely harm them. This is a game to the guards because they do not see these individuals as deserving better treatment. They also see it as their way of punishing these individuals for crimes they committed and teaching them a lesson. Now, the person that was already damaged because they murdered a child is now even more angry and hostile because they are now being tortured. I'm not having sympathy for these individuals as much as I'm trying to say 2 negatives do not equal a positive. What's more is that we put all of these murderers in the same place so that now they can actually discuss their actions with other likeminded individuals and now spend time learning new ideas. They can learn ways to avoid being caught the next time they have a chance to commit the same crimes. Now when they re-enter society they have kind of attended a university for violent criminals. They are able to use these new tricks of the trade to avoid being caught the next time. It's almost as if we used the prison system as a sort of catch and release program. My question is how we allow sick violent criminals to re-enter society when there is an extremely high likelihood that not only will they re-offend but that they will take their violent crimes to the next level. I'll never understand our lack of conviction for individuals that violate our basic codes of human decency or for the compassion that citizens give these criminals.

 

 

 

http://elcerrito.patch.com/groups/police-and-fire/p/mother--boyfriend-arrested-in-el-cerrito-on-suspicion-of-sexual-assault-homicide-of-3yearold

 

http://www.cafemom.com/articles/in_the_news/166137/parents_accused_of_brutally_killing?utm_medium=sem2&utm_campaign=prisma&utm_source=outbrain&utm_content=0&non_us=US

Never be too proud

I think one of our biggest issues in life is that we're afraid to laugh at ourself or too proud to admit we're wrong. People try to keep this image of themselves being masters in life. Many books have been written about life but since every life is a custom experience most is done on the fly through gut instincts. There should be no worries about screwing up a decision or admitting you didnt know something. But with the highly critical environment we live in people are afraid to admit they're wrong about stuff because of the criticism they will receive. So here I am doing what I feel I'm not too afraid of and that's being critical of myself, laughing at myself, and admitting I was wrong. Look, I won't pretend I was raised in an environment that was stable. I try not to dwell on it or use it as an excuse to fail. I try to use it as a reason to not ever want to experience those situations ever again. I definitely don't want my kids to ever have to experience things I've had too. Just a quick background but I was raised my mother until 4th grade. We lived with my grandmother along with my mother until 1st grade in Hacienda Heights and then we moved to San Bernardino with my mother and a guy named Paul. At the time I thought it was normal for the most part. My mother used to grow marijuana and sell it to the dealers at the local public pool. She would go through dropping off bags and then drop us off at the pool called the Center. She grew it in the back yard and I never thought anything of it. Then in April of 4th grade I went to spend the night at a friends house and my mother never came to pick me up. Finally an aunt came and picked me up but she couldnt handle me and my sister so we went to live with her and my mother's brother Dennis. He was married to a woman named Shirley who had 2 kids or her own. I can't express how thankful I am for them taking us in. We were very close to going to Orangewood and living in foster care. So at least we got to live with family. It was strict which was completely the opposite of where I was up to that point. In 4th grade I had my own little gang and had already beat a kid up for his Michael jackson jacket and started a fight with a 7th grader just to prove I was tough. Although I resented everyone for the strict environment I would not be where I am today without it and even though Dennis died 3 years ago not a day goes by that I don't thank the universe for blessing me with his presence. He truly was a selfless person and I really believe he raised me with values. But never the less I still had some residual issues from experiences and an anger problem as well. But that's a different story what I'm trying to share is why we should all stay humble and peaceful. When I was 18 I was in Hawaii for the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. I was in the Navy and was young, dumb, and full of,,,well you know. A friend had loaned me his driver license so I was out on the town drinking and having a wild time. As we walked past this group of young girls this guy I was with Nick asked these ladies what time it was and then their age. When two of them were under 18 they said nevermind. I was like screw that I just got off a boat i want to hang out with chicks. So I introduced myself. Well to make a long story short I married one of the girls. Of course it was the one that was over 18. Well about 18 years later here we are. I've been married and divorced and remarried to the same woman. I don't recommend it. When we got divorced it was my fault. I was young and not ready to get married and ended up cheating with several women. I also don't recommend cheating. Just leave if it's not working. We were separated for a while and then by chance ended up back together. Well it seemed all new and different the second time but soon she was bringing up old shit. So here we are about to get divorced again. I don't know if you've been divorced but it fucking hurts. i drank too much during the divorce and cried alot. I felt like a failure and I couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, couldnt focus on work. Kept my job but barely. But you know what oh well shit happens. Some day I'll look back and learn from this. But the point is don't be too proud to admit you were wrong and fix it. I still have a lot to fix in myself but I'm starting to be smarter about women. By smart I mean I will just avoid love all together and be alone.I'll watch my kids grow and support them but I'm not going to try and get married again. Doing something over and over again expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I just want to be content and call it a day. For what it's worth maybe this will help someone. One Love!

Does anyone really believe we'll fix this?

I talk to people on a daily basis and they've all given up on our government. Not all people just the ones's that I'm about to refer too. There are those people like me that still believe we have a chance to fix this. So I'll break this down to 3 different segments of people. You might not agree with this list and if not that's fine too. The first group is that group that no matter what votes Republican no matter who the candidate is. These people believe that the Republican party wants to help them maintain the conservative morales and values America was founded on. They will blindly vote for whoever the candidate is based on party affiliation. They bash the democratic candidate just because of the party affiliation. They'll classify everyone that does not agree with them as liberal democrats that support Socialism. They continue to put their hopes in a Republican candidate believeing that this candidate will be the one that brings the glory back to the Republican party. Then there is the same type of person but on the democratic side. They believe that the Republican party has lost touch with society and doesnt understand the needs of the American citizen. They'll vote for a Democrat even if that candidate has not earned the right to represent the American people. Personally, I believe both of these groups of people continue to keep their head in the sand and are not seeing the true problem here. Here is the 3rd group. These people wait to see who the candidate is and they look at his background and try to look within the candidate to see if he truly represents America.They don't care what party the candidate is from they want to see change. They want to see someone who does the right thing no matter what loyalties he has to people that may have financed his campaign. He'll do what's best to fix the problems that plague us today. I no longer believe it's possible with our current government. The reason is that once there is a foundation of corruption it's almost impossible to change it. Our government has been corrupt for a long time and if you don't believe it you probably fit into one of the 2 groups I listed above. Every time some individual tries to change things he ends up dead. I'm not trying to say there are conspiracies and that our government is behind it. This is what I'm trying to say. The government no longer believes that we as citizens know what we want or should have a voice. They believe that they know what's best for us and what they should do to make it happen. This is obvious with the way the government bailed out the banks and car companies even though the American people did not agree. They didnt put it to a vote for the citizens. They took it upon themselves to decide for us what we wanted. That led to a bunch of executives who ran their companies inaffectively to receive huge bonuses and payouts even though their companies didnt perform. All the government did by bailing these companies out was delay the inevitable. Now the government lost billions of dollars of tax payers money just to extend the life of a failing company. But they didnt help the taxpayers bail these companies out, they excluded themselves from being part of it just like they did with Obamacare, Social Security, and any other program they push for us but believe they're too good to follow themselves. Here is another example. Anyone that has looked at the evidence of the John F. Kennedy assassination sees obvious evidence that their is a high likelihood that Kennedy was shot by two different guns from two different directions. But the government felt obligated to keep the facts away from us possibly to protect us? LBJ assembled the Warren Commission of guys he knew he could trust. There is a recorded conversation where LBJ can be heard making the statement that he wants to avoid the situation getting out of hand. Adamantly saying that it is imperitive that they conclude that the assassination was committed by a lone gunman Oswald. So when the findings came out that the evidence pointed at Oswald being a lone gunman people that had looked at the evidence instantly thought conspiracy. How could they not? Anyone that watched the video and knows guns sees that it is obvious that Kennedy was shot once in the neck from the side and a second time through his forehead exiting the back of his head. Even if the government was not behind the assassination they made themselves look guilty by forcing the Warren Commission to conclude there was one gunman. The problem is that they fed these false findings to the American people as fact. I digress but here is my point. The government should be transparent. They should carry out business and everyone should look and see that the government is making decisions that are best for our country. When was the last time you could actually feel this was happening? We're deep in debt yet we are continuing to take on more at a rapid pace. Our country is at the age where previous governments have failed. It happened to Rome because they felt they were too big to fail and stopped listening to their people. Now our National Debt is 17 trillion dollars + and growing. But instead of focusing on this and resolving it our government has implemented a healthcare bill that will cost us even more. We continue to give money to countries that harbor terrorists as well as countries that use the money to build weapons instead of feeding their people. Sometimes things get so big that they fail and that is where our government is. Our government pays more attention to Gay marriage, abortion, and baseball players doing steroids than it does taking the debt seriously. Just wait until the reserve changes the monetary system away from the US Dollar. Then we'll see things change.