I was a Dick today

And it got things accomplished. I'm usually the last person that acts that way. The only pride I have really is in treating people the way I hope to be treated and my kids. And by being a dick I was abrasive to a few people. I'm not proud of it but it got the job done.

I might ramble if I do I apologize I'm sure I'll have a point. If not just close this and ignore it. As a Virgo I feel like I avoid confrontation. I'm sure there are other factors in my disdain for calling people out. I know more about some things than many other people. Yet, some people will tell me I'm wrong and argue it when I know I'm right. To the point where they'll fact check and see I'm right. So, many times I just avoid it. I'd rather sit in my moment of bliss than to get my heart rate up proving something that doesn't matter. But when it comes to either work or my family I get so passionate and fired up!

I might avoid confrontation but many people thrive in it. In fact I could argue that the people that embrace confrontation tend to be allowed to lead. I've had many bosses who are only good at motivating people. Whether it be positive or negative they motivate. I worked for a company where the highest rated tech got a raise, middle techs got no raise, and lowest rated tech was fired. It created this ridiculous competition between coworkers that should not exist in a true team environment. But for a while it got results.

What happened to me today was nothing like that. I like to work with self motivated passionate people who want to build our company like as if it was their own. I have problems when I work with someone who does not put one more bit of effort into their job than they have to. Problem with that is you can't build a business with that attitude. I needed some equipment to ship out today and it wasn't going to ship because of some issues with the customers credit. While I understand the company has to get paid it was nothing bad enough to stop the deal. This customer and this specific purchase are an important step for the relationship. For only 18 thousand dollars it's not going to make or brake the company. That wasn't the upsetting part, for me it was paperwork that had to be done holding up the situation. When I work until late in the night getting a sale that would have gone to a competitor it hurts to see my work possibly go up in flames.

So yeah, I was a dick today. But it's because I was a dick that my bosses got involved and approved the shipment which I knew they would do anyways so they should have just shipped it. I'm not proud of being a dick today and I don't want to be in the future. Right now I feel crappy about myself and I've already been doing that too much. I'm working on being able to hear any type of news in the world and still stay calm and emotionless. Unfortunately I am far from that goal.