Never be too proud

I think one of our biggest issues in life is that we're afraid to laugh at ourself or too proud to admit we're wrong. People try to keep this image of themselves being masters in life. Many books have been written about life but since every life is a custom experience most is done on the fly through gut instincts. There should be no worries about screwing up a decision or admitting you didnt know something. But with the highly critical environment we live in people are afraid to admit they're wrong about stuff because of the criticism they will receive. So here I am doing what I feel I'm not too afraid of and that's being critical of myself, laughing at myself, and admitting I was wrong. Look, I won't pretend I was raised in an environment that was stable. I try not to dwell on it or use it as an excuse to fail. I try to use it as a reason to not ever want to experience those situations ever again. I definitely don't want my kids to ever have to experience things I've had too. Just a quick background but I was raised my mother until 4th grade. We lived with my grandmother along with my mother until 1st grade in Hacienda Heights and then we moved to San Bernardino with my mother and a guy named Paul. At the time I thought it was normal for the most part. My mother used to grow marijuana and sell it to the dealers at the local public pool. She would go through dropping off bags and then drop us off at the pool called the Center. She grew it in the back yard and I never thought anything of it. Then in April of 4th grade I went to spend the night at a friends house and my mother never came to pick me up. Finally an aunt came and picked me up but she couldnt handle me and my sister so we went to live with her and my mother's brother Dennis. He was married to a woman named Shirley who had 2 kids or her own. I can't express how thankful I am for them taking us in. We were very close to going to Orangewood and living in foster care. So at least we got to live with family. It was strict which was completely the opposite of where I was up to that point. In 4th grade I had my own little gang and had already beat a kid up for his Michael jackson jacket and started a fight with a 7th grader just to prove I was tough. Although I resented everyone for the strict environment I would not be where I am today without it and even though Dennis died 3 years ago not a day goes by that I don't thank the universe for blessing me with his presence. He truly was a selfless person and I really believe he raised me with values. But never the less I still had some residual issues from experiences and an anger problem as well. But that's a different story what I'm trying to share is why we should all stay humble and peaceful. When I was 18 I was in Hawaii for the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. I was in the Navy and was young, dumb, and full of,,,well you know. A friend had loaned me his driver license so I was out on the town drinking and having a wild time. As we walked past this group of young girls this guy I was with Nick asked these ladies what time it was and then their age. When two of them were under 18 they said nevermind. I was like screw that I just got off a boat i want to hang out with chicks. So I introduced myself. Well to make a long story short I married one of the girls. Of course it was the one that was over 18. Well about 18 years later here we are. I've been married and divorced and remarried to the same woman. I don't recommend it. When we got divorced it was my fault. I was young and not ready to get married and ended up cheating with several women. I also don't recommend cheating. Just leave if it's not working. We were separated for a while and then by chance ended up back together. Well it seemed all new and different the second time but soon she was bringing up old shit. So here we are about to get divorced again. I don't know if you've been divorced but it fucking hurts. i drank too much during the divorce and cried alot. I felt like a failure and I couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, couldnt focus on work. Kept my job but barely. But you know what oh well shit happens. Some day I'll look back and learn from this. But the point is don't be too proud to admit you were wrong and fix it. I still have a lot to fix in myself but I'm starting to be smarter about women. By smart I mean I will just avoid love all together and be alone.I'll watch my kids grow and support them but I'm not going to try and get married again. Doing something over and over again expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I just want to be content and call it a day. For what it's worth maybe this will help someone. One Love!

Does anyone really believe we'll fix this?

I talk to people on a daily basis and they've all given up on our government. Not all people just the ones's that I'm about to refer too. There are those people like me that still believe we have a chance to fix this. So I'll break this down to 3 different segments of people. You might not agree with this list and if not that's fine too. The first group is that group that no matter what votes Republican no matter who the candidate is. These people believe that the Republican party wants to help them maintain the conservative morales and values America was founded on. They will blindly vote for whoever the candidate is based on party affiliation. They bash the democratic candidate just because of the party affiliation. They'll classify everyone that does not agree with them as liberal democrats that support Socialism. They continue to put their hopes in a Republican candidate believeing that this candidate will be the one that brings the glory back to the Republican party. Then there is the same type of person but on the democratic side. They believe that the Republican party has lost touch with society and doesnt understand the needs of the American citizen. They'll vote for a Democrat even if that candidate has not earned the right to represent the American people. Personally, I believe both of these groups of people continue to keep their head in the sand and are not seeing the true problem here. Here is the 3rd group. These people wait to see who the candidate is and they look at his background and try to look within the candidate to see if he truly represents America.They don't care what party the candidate is from they want to see change. They want to see someone who does the right thing no matter what loyalties he has to people that may have financed his campaign. He'll do what's best to fix the problems that plague us today. I no longer believe it's possible with our current government. The reason is that once there is a foundation of corruption it's almost impossible to change it. Our government has been corrupt for a long time and if you don't believe it you probably fit into one of the 2 groups I listed above. Every time some individual tries to change things he ends up dead. I'm not trying to say there are conspiracies and that our government is behind it. This is what I'm trying to say. The government no longer believes that we as citizens know what we want or should have a voice. They believe that they know what's best for us and what they should do to make it happen. This is obvious with the way the government bailed out the banks and car companies even though the American people did not agree. They didnt put it to a vote for the citizens. They took it upon themselves to decide for us what we wanted. That led to a bunch of executives who ran their companies inaffectively to receive huge bonuses and payouts even though their companies didnt perform. All the government did by bailing these companies out was delay the inevitable. Now the government lost billions of dollars of tax payers money just to extend the life of a failing company. But they didnt help the taxpayers bail these companies out, they excluded themselves from being part of it just like they did with Obamacare, Social Security, and any other program they push for us but believe they're too good to follow themselves. Here is another example. Anyone that has looked at the evidence of the John F. Kennedy assassination sees obvious evidence that their is a high likelihood that Kennedy was shot by two different guns from two different directions. But the government felt obligated to keep the facts away from us possibly to protect us? LBJ assembled the Warren Commission of guys he knew he could trust. There is a recorded conversation where LBJ can be heard making the statement that he wants to avoid the situation getting out of hand. Adamantly saying that it is imperitive that they conclude that the assassination was committed by a lone gunman Oswald. So when the findings came out that the evidence pointed at Oswald being a lone gunman people that had looked at the evidence instantly thought conspiracy. How could they not? Anyone that watched the video and knows guns sees that it is obvious that Kennedy was shot once in the neck from the side and a second time through his forehead exiting the back of his head. Even if the government was not behind the assassination they made themselves look guilty by forcing the Warren Commission to conclude there was one gunman. The problem is that they fed these false findings to the American people as fact. I digress but here is my point. The government should be transparent. They should carry out business and everyone should look and see that the government is making decisions that are best for our country. When was the last time you could actually feel this was happening? We're deep in debt yet we are continuing to take on more at a rapid pace. Our country is at the age where previous governments have failed. It happened to Rome because they felt they were too big to fail and stopped listening to their people. Now our National Debt is 17 trillion dollars + and growing. But instead of focusing on this and resolving it our government has implemented a healthcare bill that will cost us even more. We continue to give money to countries that harbor terrorists as well as countries that use the money to build weapons instead of feeding their people. Sometimes things get so big that they fail and that is where our government is. Our government pays more attention to Gay marriage, abortion, and baseball players doing steroids than it does taking the debt seriously. Just wait until the reserve changes the monetary system away from the US Dollar. Then we'll see things change.